What question do you think, I am asked the most? Yes… the LOVE question! We want love in our lives. The more of it, the better! Let’s face it, that’s what the divine energy is all about, love. Love is the purest of blessings.
Yesterday, I was catching up with a friend of mine. He expressed his relationship worries. He felt his own fears and the partner pulling away. I knew right away, that I had to share with him two visualizations.
“You have to acknowledge any negative feelings and not push those away. That’s the only way to work through these feelings. You must surrender to the feelings, without resisting. Just pay attention to the fears, without judging or making stories. The fear will eventually dissolve. The more we resist our fears, the stronger they come back to us. The more energy we invest in resisting our fears, the more they grow. That’s how we nurture fears and energetically make them into reality (eventually).”
My friend seemed receptive to the idea, so I decided to share two concepts that I recently worked with, during my meditations.
“Imagine with me, that all of the sudden you are L (partner) for one day. You switch bodies. Are there things about yourself that you are ashamed of, that you normally try to hide or minimize? Something that perhaps you feel guilty about?”
“Yes. There are things I hope L doesn’t realize about me (things that I feel guilt or a bit of shame over). I do feel ashamed, that L is responsible for so much of our household. I want to pitch in more, maybe I’m too comfortable. I hope L doesn’t realize this about me.”
“I think L knows all of this.”
On a energetic level we are all connected. Our friends and partners sense our guilt and shame, even though they may not even know it. It pushes them away. Negative energy always pushes away those that want to feel good. When we wallow in negative feelings such as guilt, shame, not feeling good enough or fear, we nurture these feelings and give them power. Ultimately, that’s how we make our worst fears come true. Simply because we invest so much energy and energy brings about (makes) reality. Guilt and shame eat away at our self-worth/love and even at our health! So instead… let’s imagine.
Imagine, that you are your partner for one day and that you know everything that’s in each other’s head and heart. There are no secrets. You are completely open and vulnerable. In this state, what would you like to change? As you surrender to your feelings, the guilt, shame and fear melt away, simply because you have nothing more to loose. You are exposed. You and your partner know everything about each other. There is nothing hidden. What do you feel? Gently, you can pay attention to all the negative feelings and simply acknowledge and be grateful for them, as these are the guides that show you, what you want to change about yourself. These negative feelings are not you. Now… take a step every day, that brings you closer to becoming the person that you admire, that you love. That’s how we can nurture love instead of letting it wither away, choked by the weeds of fear, guilt and shame. When the feelings and energy turn positive, our partners are not pushed away. No more hiding!
The second visualization is slightly morbid.
Imagine, that this is your last day in this life. Look your partner in the eyes and feel all the love that you have for them. Now, ask yourself questions that matter:
“How would I speak to them, if it’s my last chance? How would I treat them? Would I express my appreciation differently? How else could I give myself to them? Are there some struggles in our relationship, that perhaps don’t matter, in the larger scheme of things? What really matters? Do I wish that I could contribute to my partner’s life more? Do I express and truly show my love? Do I share the best of myself with my partner? Do I truly listen, like it’s my last chance ever, to listen? How can I improve my partner’s life? Would I make love differently, if I knew that it was to be the last time? Do I make love to feel pleasure, or to truly give my partner pleasure, as an expression of my love in this last good-bye?”
Both of these visualizations shifted my perspective, on how I want to treat others and heal my relationships. This applies to all relationships, not only the romantic ones (although some questions may indeed require revision). Such healing, also applies to the relationship we have with ourselves. We raise our energy and shine with positivity. We become very lovable. Think of the last time you wanted more affection from your partner. What did you do? Did you set up a date and EXPECTED certain outcomes? Did you verbalize your needs and perhaps your partner felt pressured? Are these the choices you would make, if this was your last day on earth? What if instead, you did these visualizations? Your perspective would shift from what you want, to what you can give. It’s in giving, that we truly receive. This mindset, when cultivated by both partners, contributes to a truly wonderful, respectful and loving energy. Think how much more sincere we feel, when our motivations are pure and bright, just sparkling with positive light energy!
I know that God will give me my daily bread…
“When I run after what I think I want,
My days are a furnace of distress and anxiety;
If I sit in my own place of patience,
What I need flows to me,
And without any pain.
From this I understand that
What I want also wants me,
Is looking for me
And attracting me;
When it cannot attract me
Any more to go to it,
It has to come to me.
There is a great secret
In this for anyone
Who can grasp it.”